Thankful

Nothing like following up a semi-whiny complaining post with one detailing just how thankful I am...

Today I am doing one of my very favorite things in the world. Something I often took for granted when I lived here and sorely missed when I spent those 8 years in Indiana...I'm going to the beach!

To be fair, lately, this isn't exactly a novel outing for me. I just spent the day there this past Thursday with my in-laws-to-be, not to mention spent a week on vacation not too long ago down in Cape Charles, VA right on the water. But I crave more. There is always something mystically soothing about the water. I don't mind lakes, I enjoy rivers, I put up with the Chesapeake Bay (thank GOD they're cleaning it up now) but the ocean. Wow. The ocean.

I love looking across the waves and knowing that right on the other side of the Atlantic is my friend Becks, my absolute best friend in the world growing up...we've known each other since we were about 9 years old and grew up in the same neighborhood. She just came to town recently and I was lucky enough to be able to spend time with her and her husband, Chris...and even better news...she's coming back in October to be in my wedding. I'm so thrilled I can't stand it! So the ocean holds that meaning for me...a reminder that I do have people who love me and know me so well and treasure our friendship so much that they would fly across this wide expanse of ocean to spend time with me. What an amazing relationship!

So today, not only do I get to spend time at one of my favorite places in the world, but I also get to hang out with another one of my fantastic friends who has known me since high school and coincidentally is also going to be in my wedding. Thankfully she is only about 2 and a half hours away and loves the beach even more than I do (if that's possible!)

This, ironically, is a photo of (L-R) Meghan, me and Becks circa summer 2001 at King's Dominion. in VA..yeah...they'll probably both be on their way to murder me anytime now! This was one of the last times we all hung out together before I headed off to Indiana for college - it feels so great to be back in MD...even with the 105 degree heat index! Seriously though, it's going to be a great time hanging with Meghan today and the beach...how can you not love the beach? Can't wait!

Wedding, here we come!

Ok, I can't help it - I have to post something about the upcoming wedding (T-3 Months).

Everyone keeps telling me that I'm way ahead on the planning compared to any other bride they've met, but I still can't seem to keep myself from feeling scattered about the details. I know its the psycho-planner in me that I desperately (and mostly successfully) to hide on a daily basis, but there are so many mind-numbing details!

I'm very blessed to have wonderful people in my life who can help me with so much, but at the same time I really wish I had my friends closer (geographically). I had a great day yesterday with Aaron's mom and Kate when we went to Michael's to pick out what we wanted to do with ribbon, centerpieces, shower invitations, church aisle decor, blah blah blah and they were wonderful! So helpful and calm because I swear I am missing some kind of girly gene that is supposed to make me inherently know what kind of ribbon I want! I just can't squelch that feeling of wishing I didn't have to put so much pressure on them and lean on them for every detail. And they're so sweet about it - I just, well, feel kind of guilty letting that wedding stress slop over on them.

AND I spent half my evening last night trying to design something fun for my wedding shower invitations and all I got was supremely frustrated. I am usually great at coming up with things like that, but I honestly feel like I'm tapped creatively...time for a breather! And looking at my guest list for the shower is a bittersweet thing because so many wonderful women are on it who I am so privileged to call my friends...but seeing their names and locations in print makes me homesick. Not homesick for a specific place, but homesick for that warm feeling of community with those fantastic people in my life.

So I apologize for the wedding post...and the somewhat whiny nature...but I had to get it out of my head and so I move on...to find pre-made shower invites because if I look at those blank templates one more time...they're going out the window!

Happy Beachin...

I have been very blessed to have such a wonderful day! You ever have one of those days where you feel just completely content? That was today. I don't think I stopped smiling (not in a creepy way like this guy) all day!

I got to spend the day at Rehoboth Beach with my good friend Meghan. We took in the sun, the ocean breeze, the calm crashing of the water, some fantastic pad thai and mango sticky rice and a wonderful italian dinner back at the house with women from the church I used to go to when I was a kid! It was great to see everyone (they were there for a retreat this weekend)...there's just something about that sense of community you get from being around people who have known you since you were 12 years old...and still inexplicably like and want to talk to you! It was so peaceful to spend that time with Meghan (we've known each other since high school and met in church youth group...she's also a bridesmaid!) walking on the beach and talking about the past, present and possible futures.

Now that I've moved out to the Eastern Shore and am settling into an area where I know Aaron and I will be living (hopefully) for a decent amount of time, I'm chomping at the bit to have that close "community" again. Today was a wonderful example of how even though my life has changed so much, my parents have moved out of state and I'm living completely away from both of my sisters for the first time in 5 years...even still...I can always have that sense of "home" with the people who have known and loved me through difficult and trying times. It was a reassurance that I no matter how far apart I live from those I love, we can always be brought together and spend time laughing, eating and catching up as if no time has passed. What a blessing to be reminded of that!

Now, just to give some perspective...here's a picture of Meghan and me one of the last times we were at the beach together many many (about 6 years!) moons ago...

Is It August Yet?

Ok so the below photo montage of Ruthie and me is posted because...SHE IS COMING TO VISIT ME IN AUGUST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just found out the dates and I'm so excited I can hardly sit still! I honestly can't stand waiting to see her, we're both going to freak out and probably cry while jumping around and hugging each other at the airport.

Plus I'm going to be living on the Eastern Shore then so we'll get to hit the beach, eat great sushi, hang out at all my old favorite places on the OC boardwalk, cook, relax and talk, talk, talk, talk, TALK - just like we used to be able to do every other day when I was living in Indiana...I can't WAIT!




















Seriously - is it August yet?!

PS - is anyone else super-annoyed at how difficult it is to post/format photos on this blog? Good LORD!

Missing You...

This past weekend was an incredible rollercoaster of ups and downs emotionally and physically. Aaron was in town, which is always fantastic and Mom is also here. I'm so blessed that they get along so well - both of us really lucked out with our future "in-laws"!

Saturday (as you can see in the post below), I went shopping with Mom, Meghan and Susan for my wedding gown and we found a fantastic one, had a wonderful time doing it!

Then Sunday came...I had hardly any sleep on Saturday night, tossing and turning, my brain full and my ears refusing to block out any extra sounds. Not a fun night. When I don't get sleep I tend to start feeling really overwhelmed and emotional and sure enough...Sunday I was uber-emotional. Un-fun.

I am so thankful for having my mom, Aaron and Kate around who so graciously put up with my incomprehensible blubbering, near-projectile puking and constant worrying and always seem to know what to say to calm me down.

There were a few "real" reasons I was upset hiding underneath that dense blanket of exhaustion-induced tears...and one of them is a simple one...I miss my friends! Of course I do have friends here, great ones in fact, but I miss the awesome friends I made out in Indiana who were like my close little dysfuctional family. We were (and probably still are) outrageously comfortable with and dependent on each other...I miss that family-style level of comfort we all have together - that familiarity that allowed us to just walk in each others' houses, flop down on the couch and hang out talking or watching TV while bickering about what to have for dinner. Those friends, that family, ties in so closely to my feeling of being settled and being "at home" - something I didn't realize until I moved away from all of them.

I love living with Kate and Andrew in their home. They have been so incredibly generous to me and I am dreading saying goodbye when I move to Salisbury...even though I'm looking forward to living there too! Still, they're my family and I love them so much and that house they've made into such a great home. But...I've always known that my staying there is temporary. Not a bad thing at all - but that knowledge is one of the factors that has kept me from feeling completely settled here. I know I'll be moving on yet again, saying goodbyes yet again and leaving another sister behind as I cry my way to yet another "home" while driving a moving van. It hurts my heart a little more as my official move out date gets closer and closer.

Doing all of this wedding planning and fun things like trying on gowns, trying to come up with favors that will be fun yet affordable and laughing myself sick at the atrocious dresses some brides force their attendants to wear...all of this would be a flobbity-jillion percent more fun with both of my sisters (Molly is out in Indiana still), Ruthie, Aimee, Matty, Josh, Amber, Mary...and everyone else I love who I live states away from now. It's hard not to dwell on that ache in my heart that creeps into my throat and draws tears to my eyes every time I think about those friends...my family.

I miss you so much.