Wait, it's 2013? When Did That Hapen?!

Apparently the new year has begun, I must have missed it, since I've been fighting a nasty head cold since New Years Eve and was in bed long before the ball dropped.  What a way to start the new year, right?  Today is the first day I feel a lot better and up to my usual writing/cooking/cleaning/entertaining a 6-month-old tricks.

So what to say about 2012 now that it has passed...if there was any year that changed my life as much, I can't think of it!  The year I moved out to Indiana for college and ended up there for 8 years (in the state - only took 4 years to graduate college, just to clarify!)...but still, I was 18 and stupid enough not to realize what a big deal it was!  The year I got married...sure, but kind of a seamless change.  The year I moved back to Maryland from Indiana...yeah, but I got to move in with my older sister for awhile and her family (especially my nephew) definitely helped distract from the enormity of that change.  But nope, 2012 will go down in the books as my most earthshattering year thus far.

Why?

Well because of this little booger of course!  Also known as Baby Knives...

Fiona Knives Rohrer, you have changed your daddy's and my life forever and even though you surprised the living crap out of us by appearing on the scene, we love you so much and wouldn't change a thing.

There are days where I don't think being a mom has changed me that much, then I nonchalantly wipe snot off my child's nose and onto my own jeans without thinking...hmm...methinks I've changed more than I think!  I also find myself waking up at night occasionally worrying about making sure she gets the right nutrition and that we'll live in a better school district when she starts kindergarten.  Not to mention those random moments when I'm jerked from sleep for no reason and have to go check on her and watch her little chest rise and fall.  I'm pretty sure I'll never get uninterrupted sleep again!

2012, you changed me forever and I can't believe at this time next year our little girl will be over a year and a half and running in circles around us...wow...

Prayers in a Broken World

As many of you know by now, something truly horrific happened today.  20 children died when a gunman attacked an elementary school in Connecticut.  I am on the verge of tears again just writing about it and it's all I can do not to wake my own daughter up just to hold her in my arms and thank God she's safe and healthy.

I hate that we live in a world where horrible people who murder children exist.  When things like this happen I turn into psycho-mom, not wanting to let Fiona out of my sight, much less out the door.  And, she's only 6 months old!  How on earth will I deal with her going to school in a few years, knowing that she could be ripped from us in the blink of an eye for no reason? 

I know I should trust God to keep my family safe, but that terrified whisper in the back of my head keeps asking, "what about the parents of all those children in Connecticut?  I'm sure many of them trusted God to keep their babies safe - so what now?"

I don't believe God causes horrible things to happen in this world.  We live in a world with evil, broken people who have free will and sometimes choose to hurt and kill others.  We see this every day all over the world in wars and acts of terrorism.  It's not something I look at and blame God for...yet still, that voice in my head can't help but wonder why the infinite creator of the universe who cared so much about the human race that He sent His own son to die in order to save us would allow innocent children to be slaughtered.

It's a question I know I'll never answer definitively and I doubt I'll get much sleep tonight - my heart is so heavy for the families of those poor children.  Please pray for their families with me tonight during this unimaginable grief.

The Walmart Retort...and Peas

Well, it finally happened.  Unsolicited snarky parenting advice from a stranger was proffered in Walmart.  I'm actually a little proud of my reaction...although to be fair, I probably would have just let it go if I wasn't already so annoyed by a creepy guy calling me "babe" while squeezing past me in the aisle.  Ugh.

Anyway, I was standing in front of the baby wipes, picking up a package when this woman (not much older than I am) snidely says, "you know, most babies break out in a rash unless you use name-brand wipes."  The response was out of my mouth before I even thought it through..."Well, it's a good thing my daughter's butt is generic!"

Yeah, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little proud of myself.

In other news, Baby Knives tried peas...much hilarity ensued.