Fiona in January

Fiona in January

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

It's a Healthy Addiction...Right?

So I've never made it a secret how much I adore books. I don't judge those of you (who now include my husband) who read books in an electronic format or listen to books as mp3 files, I am just not one who enjoys those formats at all. This should be pretty obvious from one of my previous posts that showcases our insane double-stacked 6'x6' bookshelves!

My oldest and dearest friend, Becks, shares my love of books and she has definitely read more than I have - I blame her crazy-long daily commute on a train to work - but still, it's impressive. So if we're keeping count (and of course we are), it is January 24 and I am in the middle of my 14th book of the year.

Yeah...it's a healthy addiction, right?


I've been fortunate to find some books I've been really excited to read at our local library, not to mention have about 3 hours of downtime when I work on Fridays at my daycare job while the kiddos are napping. That equals a TON of reading time each week! I am also 100% sure that I will have next to no free time to read once Baby Knives arrives in June, so I'm getting all the reading in that I can in while I'm not incredibly sleep deprived and the 24-hour restaurant to a newborn.

That brings me to my next bit of news...we found out this week that we are in fact expecting Baby Knives (a girl) rather than Baby Waits (a boy) and I am so excited! I am one of 3 girls and don't know much about raising little boys...although I've never been a parent so I'm sure I know next to nothing about raising a little girl. However, I'm feeling at least one step ahead since we have the same basic "parts"!

But, back to the books - I am reading "Planting Dandelions" by Kyran Pittman. I hadn't heard of the author before and it was one of those recommendations I saw on Goodreads that looked like it might be up my alley. I absolutely love it and recommend it to every mom I know (and strangers too!).

I haven't made it a secret that it's been a rough few months for two close friends of mine who have unexpectedly lost their baby girls and a quote from this book made me well up thinking about them all over again. It's one of those paragraphs that just jumped off the page at me and made me want to jump in a plane out to the midwest and hug the ever-living crap out of them. I can't know what to say to help comfort them, I in no way understand such a devastating loss, but I wish I could at least be there to hug and cry with them. And, of course, to smack those who speak to them in ridiculous cliches (see below).

It is almost impossible to extract meaning from hardship without employing hackneyed cliches. There was a point that year where if I heard another variation on "That which does not kill us makes us stronger", I was going to scream. Sometimes, that which does not kill us can beat us up and leave us in a ditch.

I hesitate to bring up gratitude, because I know there is someone reading this who is in that ditch today, who'd like to tell me exactly what to do with my gratitude, but there's no way around it. There is nothing like fear for distorting perspective, and nothing like gratitude for restoring it. I'm not talking about the false gratitude that denies that you or anyone else is suffering. Nor the shadowy kind of gratitude that depends on the truism that somebody, somewhere, is always worse off than you, nor the timid thankfulness that doesn't dare ask more from life than basic survival. I mean really appreciating what is in front of you right now, even if you don't know if you can count on it tomorrow.

If you have a chance, check out this author and let me know what you think. As for me, I've spent enough time blogging - back to reading - I only have 5 months left!