The Hellish Month of July

So, I know I've been neglecting this blog something fierce for a month...however, it was intentional. To be honest (without outrageously oversharing), July was a truly awful month in some ways...including the horrifyingly hot weather!

It was personally exhausting, stressful, emotionally draining and full of tears and frustrations. I haven't been blogging because I honestly wasn't sure what to say. I didn't want to share my entire personal and private life online, and while I've been going to church and hearing some wonderful messages by our pastors over at ORBC, I just didn't have the heart to share and comment on them while my heart was fighting through a lot of turmoil.

So what has changed?

Let me just say first that my relationship with my husband is the only thing that really kept me sane (he may dispute the level of perceived sanity, but he's known me 10 years so he's allowed). There was never any arguing or issues between us - it was just life, frustrations and the outside world kicking me in the metaphorical ovaries.

Uncool outside world.

Uncool.

Coming out on the other side of a truly difficult and emotionally bleak month, I am starting to bounce back to my positive outlook, thank you God for that! Once of the things I was struggling with was a deep loneliness and feeling of isolation that smacked me over the head out of the blue...through that (among other things), I'm starting to break out of my comfort zone and reach out to some wonderful potential new friends. Being patient with the process sucks, but we all know that patience has never been one of my stronger virtues. I'm trying!

I started a new job - didn't leave my old one - but added a new part time job working with kids that I am really starting to enjoy. It's only about 10 hours a week, but those little buggers have already started worming their way into my heart. Without having that job, this month would have been even harder. Nothing tugs the heartstrings and makes you feel loved like a small child's face lighting up when she sees you or a baby reaching out his little arms to be hugged. Those kids have been a lifesaver for me these past few weeks and I'm looking forward to what they continue to teach me in the months to come.

I faltered a lot this week in my commitment to daily set aside time to pray and read God's Word. I'm struggling to get back into that habit, as it is a priority in my heart, but when I was so downtrodden I somehow resisted bringing my pain to God...completely insane, I know...so I'm slowly making my way humbly back to Him each day. How great is it that God will always forgive me and welcome me into His presence?

So that's it, faithful blog readers, I'm back and will be writing more regularly as the rest of this year marches on. Hope your July has been restful and wonderful and I hope to hear your stories as you share!

Who Is This Jesus?

I had mentioned a few posts ago that our church is doing a message series called "These Things We Believe" focusing on the pillars of the Christian faith, explaining the Apostle's Creed and really digging deep into the foundation of our faith...why we believe what we do.

It has been a great series to dig into, a really strong reminder of what I hold dear as a follower of Christ. As someone who was privileged to be raised in the church and by parents who are strong believers, I have a solid background in the foundation of our faith...however, in the craziness of life, when tragedy strikes and when life doesn't make sense, it has become easier and easier to "forget" I am not only a Christian...but a true child of the Creator of the universe, and that comes with an all-access pass to Him. Focusing on the foundations of my faith has been a much-needed reminder of who I am, who God is and why I believe what I do.

This week's message was given by our senior pastor, Brian, and he dug into exactly who Jesus is. This is a huge issue, not just for Christians, but for people of all religions across the world. Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, Muslims, Bhuddists, and so many others have a perspective of exactly who Jesus is.

Brian's first point of order was to talk about four major heresies about the person of Jesus Christ that became popular centuries and centuries ago. He made the point that he wasn't just giving us a history lesson in old heretical beliefs that challenged the Christian faith for the heck of it - that these major heresies are reflected in religions all over the world.

#1 - Adoptionism: This belief about Jesus is that he was just a man. A man who was very spiritual and became spiritual enough that God "made him a son" through his baptism.

#2 - Nestorianism: This belief focuses on Jesus being half God and half man, almost seen as a somewhat unstable figure with a multiple personality disorder.

#3 - Arianism: This heresy about the person of Jesus states that God created Jesus himself, then Jesus created the universe. This would give Jesus the status as a step-down from God, a demi-god rather than God.

#4 - Docetism: This is the concept that Jesus/God vacated heaven to come down to earth, put on an "earth suit", the image of a human being, but he wasn't human at all - he just appeared that way.

So all of this begs the question: who is this Jesus? Who do I believe He is? For answers, I turn to the one and only authority I know and need. God's Word. What does the Bible say about who Jesus is? John 1:14 lays it all out for me.

In the beginning was The Word (Jesus), and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made...The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

That says it all. Jesus Christ is fully God and fully man. I don't understand that. Who could? But, Pastor Brian made a fantastic point about that. If I had to understand everything about God in order to place my faith in Him, my God would be as small as my understanding. I don't know about you, but I don't want a God I can fit into a box...I want the awe-inspiring Creator of the universe. I don't have to understanding everything about Him, I couldn't with this finite little brain of mine. All I have to do is know and trust that God is good, God loves me and always has my best interest as His goal.

Every other world religion can be summed up in two letters...D-O. Do good works, pray, read the religious books, go to church...and when you die, cross your fingers and HOPE you've somehow done enough "good" to outweigh the "bad" on the eternal scales. The difference with believing in Jesus Christ is that it is DONE. There is nothing you have to do other than believe in Him. Any good you do in your life, any prayer and Bible reading comes out of a desire to know God better...not a desperate need to try to earn your place in heaven when you die. The price for that has already been paid. If there was any other way to heaven, then Jesus' sacrifice on the cross is a joke and His blood was wasted suffering.

Jesus Christ was fully God and fully man, He came to earth, suffered and died to pay the ultimate price for our sins so we can have a chance to have a relationship with Him and be secure in our eternal destiny in heaven when we die. The whole point of Jesus being fully God AND fully human is that he relates to the pain of humanity. He can literally understand our pain and suffering because he experienced it. One of the best Bible passages that describes this truth is Hebrews 4:14-16

Since we have a great High Priest (someone to intercede on our behalf to God) who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.

If you want to check out the entire message (and I highly encourage you to do that!), click on the video below. If you don't have a church you attend regularly, check us out and please - I welcome your comments and questions on the blog, so hook me up with your feedback!

Do You Care?

As I dug into the second chapter of this book, I was really drawn in by the chapter's title "Lord, Don't You Care?" This chapter centered around the passage of the Mary/Martha story in Luke 10:40 - Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to Him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"

We've all felt the loneliness, frustration, left-out-ness and resentment Martha experienced - doing all that work for others when no one seems to notice or care. Life isn't "fair", but that's exactly what we want it to be when we're feeling underwhelmed and under-appreciated. We want the recognition and appreciation we feel we deserve. Constantly feeding that need to work and work and work some more is what can truly contribute to a physical and/or emotional burnout. This applies to daily work, friendships, charity work, ministry positions, etc.

Joanna Weaver outlined 5 Unrealistic Expectations that can contribute to burnout in her second chapter:

#1 - There shouldn't be limits to what I can do
#2 - I have the capacity to help everyone
#3 - I am the only person available to help
#4 - I must never make a mistake
#5 - I have the ability to change another person

Exodus 18:17-18 echoes this sentiment, "What you are doing is not good...You will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone."

Satan has always used the same tactics to get our eyes off God an onto our circumstances instead. Distraction, discouragement and doubt - those are the steps we can easily fall into as we get overwhelmed and put unrealistic expectations on ourselves instead of focusing on God in our day-to-day lives.

Satan always begins with distraction. Martha's pursuits were hardly trivial. Her preparations were important and could even be considered as ministry. However, her "ministry" and expectations overwhelmed her and it alienated her. Rather than doing things "unto the Lord", she settled for just getting things done. That's when the weight of discouragement can set in.

I don't know about you, but when I'm distracted, discouragement is just around the corner. It breaks down our perspective and defenses, telling us we are useless, hopeless and abandoned. Elijah's story in I Kings 18 is a great example of this. He wallowed so far down into self-pity that he begged God to let him die. And it all began with discouragement.

One thing that I find so hard to remember sometimes is that when I am distracted, discouraged, tired and overwhelmed - there is no better place to go than to my Heavenly Father. Instead, I often choose to hid in a session of self-pity...which never really seems to help.

One of the Bible verses I've always clung to (and some days need to be reminded of!) is Deuteronomy 31:8 - The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you. He will never leave you, nor forsake you. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged.

The answer to Martha's questions, "Lord, don't you care?" is simple. He will always answer us, He will always care, even though it may not come in the way we expect. All we have to do is take those worries, those hurts to Him instead of holding them close and letting them turn to fear and doubt in our own heads.