As many of you know by now, something truly horrific happened today. 20 children died when a gunman attacked an elementary school in Connecticut. I am on the verge of tears again just writing about it and it's all I can do not to wake my own daughter up just to hold her in my arms and thank God she's safe and healthy.
I hate that we live in a world where horrible people who murder children exist. When things like this happen I turn into psycho-mom, not wanting to let Fiona out of my sight, much less out the door. And, she's only 6 months old! How on earth will I deal with her going to school in a few years, knowing that she could be ripped from us in the blink of an eye for no reason?
I know I should trust God to keep my family safe, but that terrified whisper in the back of my head keeps asking, "what about the parents of all those children in Connecticut? I'm sure many of them trusted God to keep their babies safe - so what now?"
I don't believe God causes horrible things to happen in this world. We live in a world with evil, broken people who have free will and sometimes choose to hurt and kill others. We see this every day all over the world in wars and acts of terrorism. It's not something I look at and blame God for...yet still, that voice in my head can't help but wonder why the infinite creator of the universe who cared so much about the human race that He sent His own son to die in order to save us would allow innocent children to be slaughtered.
It's a question I know I'll never answer definitively and I doubt I'll get much sleep tonight - my heart is so heavy for the families of those poor children. Please pray for their families with me tonight during this unimaginable grief.