Fiona in January

Fiona in January

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Why is Sleep so Evasive?

I admit, I intentionally took a hiatus from blogging without much warning.  It has been a rough few weeks for this new mom and I didn't feel like blogging when I had nothing positive to say and just wallow in my frustration.  Yet writing is how I process, so I thought I'd take a stab at blogging again.

My daughter is now 15 weeks and 2 days old.  So much of the day she is a delight, a happy baby babbling as she learns to play with toys and discover how good her fingers taste.  I really do cherish those moments because about 3 weeks ago she has started fighting naptime during the day.

Granted, she was feeling under the weather for a solid 2 weeks with nasal congestion and even took me suctioning out her little nose without complaint, but since she's felt better, the fussiness has continued.  She screams and cries as she starts to get tired before I put her down for a nap, no matter how tired she is.  I've tried putting her down for naps fully awake before she gets fussy and that doesn't make a difference.

The frustrating part (besides having her scream her head off multiple times a day) is that I know she's exhausted, she just won't give it up and fall asleep.  Nothing makes me feel like more of a failure as a parent than not being able to simply get my child to sleep and stay asleep to get the rest she needs.  Right now I'm taking solace in the fact that she's doing pretty well at night, only waking up once for a 2am feeding instead of two or three times a night like she used to.

Some days I just have to sit back and shake my head in incredulity over how much my life has changed so quickly since Baby Knives was born.  I'm trying to focus on one day at a time, enjoying the small successes - the fact that after 30 minutes of fussing and rocking, she's finally asleep - and trying to remind myself that just because one day is hard doesn't mean the next will be.  I know that all parents go through tough stretches with their kids at every age range, it's so hard to see beyond this right now and try to convince myself that this phase won't last forever...she will eventually sleep!

1 comment:

  1. ...and then you look at that adorable little face and melt a little. She'll sleep, honey. You did! I always thought at this point of your life you'd be in a psychiatrist's office saying, "All I remember of my mother is her leaning over me saying, 'Go to sleep! Just go to sleep!'"