Wedding, here we come!

Ok, I can't help it - I have to post something about the upcoming wedding (T-3 Months).

Everyone keeps telling me that I'm way ahead on the planning compared to any other bride they've met, but I still can't seem to keep myself from feeling scattered about the details. I know its the psycho-planner in me that I desperately (and mostly successfully) to hide on a daily basis, but there are so many mind-numbing details!

I'm very blessed to have wonderful people in my life who can help me with so much, but at the same time I really wish I had my friends closer (geographically). I had a great day yesterday with Aaron's mom and Kate when we went to Michael's to pick out what we wanted to do with ribbon, centerpieces, shower invitations, church aisle decor, blah blah blah and they were wonderful! So helpful and calm because I swear I am missing some kind of girly gene that is supposed to make me inherently know what kind of ribbon I want! I just can't squelch that feeling of wishing I didn't have to put so much pressure on them and lean on them for every detail. And they're so sweet about it - I just, well, feel kind of guilty letting that wedding stress slop over on them.

AND I spent half my evening last night trying to design something fun for my wedding shower invitations and all I got was supremely frustrated. I am usually great at coming up with things like that, but I honestly feel like I'm tapped creatively...time for a breather! And looking at my guest list for the shower is a bittersweet thing because so many wonderful women are on it who I am so privileged to call my friends...but seeing their names and locations in print makes me homesick. Not homesick for a specific place, but homesick for that warm feeling of community with those fantastic people in my life.

So I apologize for the wedding post...and the somewhat whiny nature...but I had to get it out of my head and so I move on...to find pre-made shower invites because if I look at those blank templates one more time...they're going out the window!

Hooray for Wedding Dresses!

Ok, I don't know about the rest of you "brides" out there, but I was kind of nervous about trying on dresses. It takes me forever to find regular clothes that I love, much less formal wear, so I was skeptical about finding one with a great neckline, enough *ahem* room for the "girls" and still made me look pretty while being comfy...not too much to ask right?

The short answer is that it was a fantastic experience! I tried on 5 dresses and loved 3 of them completely...finally made a decision on the 3rd one I tried on. I would post it on here, but I don't want Aaron to see it until the wedding...but here's the runner up"

If you want to see my actual dress, let me know and I can email you a picture all secret-like!

The best part about the appointment besides looking great in almost every dress I tried on was that my mom was in town to do this with me. It was a fantastic and tear-jerking afternoon for us...plus my awesome friend Meghan and her mom came with us for a great time!

So excited about my dress - thanks for all the happy wishes thought my way yesterday!

Forgiveness and the Something of a Lighter Fare...

One of the things I've had a hard time with since I was a little kid is forgiveness. Forgiving others, forgiving myself and moving on...not so easy for me! As I've gotten older I'd like to say it's gotten easier...but that would mostly be a lie...mostly!

I find it the most difficult to forgive others for hurting those I love. Nevermind how someone hurts me, its when they hurt the ones closest to that I find their actions "unforgivable".

Still, God tells us that we are to forgive those who "sin against us", and I assume those who sin against the ones we love are a part of that grouping...sigh...why can't forgiveness come easier to me?

Something to mull over obsessively for awhile until God reveals yet another one of my fabulous "flaws" to me...

In other (and decidedly more upbeat) news: Mom is in town...woohooo! I haven't seen her since Christmas and it's so great to have her around for two whole weeks. During this visit she's having a great time bonding with her brand new granddaughter AND we get to do some fantastic wedding stuff...like try on dresses this weekend! I can't wait - I finally feel 100% like myself again and I can actually be excited about all the awesome stuff we get to do to get ready for the upcoming wedding.

Any suggestions on wedding dress styles? I was thinking of one like this:

Why don't I have an opinion about tulle?

Ok all of you recent brides, not-so-recent brides, brides-to-be and other assorted women-type friends...answer me this: is it bizarre that I haven't been dreaming about my wedding since I was 7? I am starting to think this whole wedding planning adventure would be a lot easier if I had been! But no, I don't have an opinion on most of the details. What's important to me is:

1. I look pretty in my dress (well that's a given)
2. All my closest friends and family will be there
3. Bernt (my youth pastor from back in the day) does the ceremony
4. We have a rockin photographer

So all of the above have pretty much been taken care of. I haven't found my dress yet, but I'm not too worried and I have some ideas. Plus I have people going with me to shop for it who won't let me buy one that makes me look like a cupcake. Always good to have people like that in your life!

The "problem" is that most of the other details I've never thought about and am having to think about now...and make decisions about. Like...what music do we want? Do we want dancing at the reception and if so, how do we find a non-obnoxious DJ? Do we want flower centerpieces or something more funky like personalized Jones sodas in ice buckets? How do we want to decorate the church? Fake flowers or real flowers?

It's a little overwhelming...mostly in a fun way, but I still think it would have been easier if I had started thinking about all this crazy stuff when I was in elementary school!

Aaron and I did pick our "Save the Date" cards - we're doing postcards and steering clear of saccharine-sweet photo magnets. And our colors are black and white with a deep emerald green accent. Pretty, right?

I am starting to settle into the wedding planning groove and am so lucky to have a fiance who is supportive and understands I get a little looney tunes obsessing over the details.