Fiona in January

Fiona in January

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Do you feel like it?

One of the things God has been teaching me lately is what role my emotions do and do not play in my life. Now, being female of course my emotions are a huge part of who I am. Yes, I'm the one who tears up at especially poignant Hallmark commercials, movies (did anyone else bawl like a baby through PS I Love You?) and even songs. But when it comes to my day-to-day life and decision-making, how much should I be letting how I "feel" guide me?

What has really been driven home to me lately is that there are many things in my life that I have to CHOOSE to do, despite what I feel. I know this is a sign of being a fully-functioning adult (i.e. I don't feel like working today, yet here I am at work), but in my personal life and relationship with God it's a bit of a revelation for me.

One thing I have been consistently taught (and I thank my Mom for this) is that when life doesn't make sense and tragedy strikes the way you get through is to focus on what you KNOW to be true about God. Not what you feel, because if you tap into those feelings and blame God, focusing on anger and frustration and sorrow, you'll just become more bogged down and hopeless.

As many of you already know, my good friends Jenny and Andy recently lost their little girl Olivia Hope. She was born with Trisonomy 13 and passed away a few days later. It is an absolutely heartbreaking situation that brings me to tears every time I think about them and lift them up in prayer. It isn't fair, it doesn't seem right and my friends are in such pain now trying to move forward and grieve for their little girl. It would be so easy for me to slide into blaming God for her death, tapping into that deep well of sorrow and emotions that spin out of control...

But what do I know to be true about God? I know all things work together for good for those who love Him. I know He will never leave us or forsake us. I know He has a plan for each child of His. And I know that Olivia is now in His arms for eternity and we will see her again someday.

These truths are what I focus on...and so I CHOOSE to praise Him every day. Whether I "feel" like it or not. I know the truth about my heavenly Father and that alone is deserving of my praise...even when tragedy strikes and the circumstances of this world don't seem to make sense.

Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be Your glorious name
You give and take away...You give and take away
My heart will CHOOSE to say: Lord, blessed be your name

1 comment:

  1. your mom told me the same thing while I was grieving over the loss of my mom. I will never forget that moment, sitting at their computer and her standing in the kitchen, and have often recalled it to help me through hard, questioning times.